It's early on Tuesday morning in South Korea. I am packed, except for my computer. My suite, which houses 12 people, is empty except for me. Some of the last international students to leave are experiencing the same situation, and they think it's creepy, so they stay down in the lobby. I think its quiet, and I kind of love that, but it's also a little sad. The last few days have been filled with the most heart-wrenching goodbyes I think I've ever experienced, and my heart is an absolute disaster, for the time being. However, I'm full of hope about traveling again, about staying in touch, and about feeling better in time.
My task today is to get myself and all my belongings to Busan, on the southern coast, for a three day beach getaway before I fly home. I've got first class tickets on the bullet train, the KTX, and while I've taken it before, between here and Seoul, it doesn't have room to reach its top speeds on that route, so I'm really excited. It goes about 180 miles an hour. I'm just shaking my head as I write this, because it seems like the spoiling just does not stop - who gets to do what I am doing, what I have done?
Friday I will be home. While I was here, I discovered some monumental things about myself. One is that for me, home is not a place. I've known it all along, but never proven it before now. We moved too much, when I was a child, for me to be able to attach myself to a geographic location. Home is Stephen and my kids, and I want to go home.
I have had the most incredible time, and I am a completely different person than the one who came here at the end of February, earlier this year. I stopped blogging about it disappointingly early, I know, but there is a reason: I woke up one morning and realized that the thrill of re-living through writing was gone, and I was really excited about just living. It was a new experience for me, and I can say with conviction that I lived it to the fullest. I have absolutely no regrets about what I did with my time, my money, and my heart, and that is such a blessing! I filled my waking hours to the brim, and I squeezed every last drop of experience from these four months that I could get, and I'm so glad I did.
I'm quaking in my boots a little bit at the thought of reverse culture shock, because I love the new me, and I'm just not sure how well I mesh with the life I'm going home to. However, I know that coming to Korea was one of the most important and wonderful decisions I've ever made, therefore, I welcome the changes and adjustments that are coming. I suspect that I will need to debrief, and I think I will do it here, to you ;)
The saving grace of my whole story is that I'm married to an incredible man, and he loves the new me, too. If there is tweaking that needs to happen, we'll do it as we swim upstream, together.
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I kinda like that you stopped blogging for the very reasons that you did. I'm glad you had it as an outlet and the start, and now with your return. Looking forward to hearing what re-entry is like for you. May your journey home be just as lovely as the rest of the trip - minus that one trip into town where that guys was creepy and you ran into the bathroom. Love you. -Donna
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